At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
