I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
