I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I don't think brook has ever known best
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
