she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
