i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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