if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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