I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
