I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
