She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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