saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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