I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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