That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
