I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
