Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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