He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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