WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
