sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
