Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
