hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
