"it" just moved
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
