Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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