OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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