It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
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I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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