were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
