Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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