My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
