We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize