At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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