There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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