i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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