What did we do last night that was yellow?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Randomize
