What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
