if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
