we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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