stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
