She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
