So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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