please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
