Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
