Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can't turn off my feet"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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