And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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