hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
MIDGETS
????
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize