no you cant smoke seaweed
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
