Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
