sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
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Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
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She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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