Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
