she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
