nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
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They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize