I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
