he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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