i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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