when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
