It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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