No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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