True but thats because hes a fetus.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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