That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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