Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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