Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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