My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
